Things I won’t miss when I leave Timor

The pollution in the gorgeous scenery (e.g. water = 8% faeces! Ew)

Extremely creepy dudes lounging in doorways drawling ‘Bondia, honeeeyyyy’ at me*

Fire ants in my bed and on my laptop (SERIOUSLY WHUT? This did not happen at the other house! Also, before you wag your finger at me and say ‘Do you eat on your bed?’, I don’t have a table, of course I bloody eat on my bed.)

Roosters that don’t understand they’re not meant to crow 24 hours a day

The rest of the food: Rice with every (bought) meal, lukewarm food, stale food and lack of food generally (no vending machines! No bakeries where you can buy a takeaway muffin! Because much of the population is struggling with getting rice!)

My bak mandi

Indonesian fucking pop music

Ridiculously expensive phone calls

Free and easy attitude to sanitation (i.e. smelly rubbish everywhere)

• This isn’t all dudes, by a long shot. Far and away, most young and old men who greet me on the street are politely friendly, with exactly the same manner as the women.